A Helpful Woman's Guide to Upgrading Your Entire Life With Homemade Marijuana Gummi Bears

Illustration for Jezebel [society of illustrators 60]

"I was like you once: eating a single bite of food with pot in it and freakingright the fuck out. The first time I had a pot brownie, I did what any sensible 15-year-old might: I decided they weren’t working, ate half the pan, waited two hours, then watched the entire room flip onto its side and felt the sensation drain from my jelly-legs. Two friends had to walk me to the bathroom for the remainder of the night, and another practically fireman-carried me home. Then there was the incident in college where I got off the bus 45 minutes early to walk a long way in the dark because a green-tinted cookie didn’t agree with me. There were, maybe, several of those incidents.

"But now, I am enlightened. Let me bring you with me. Let me show you how to make marijuana gummi bears."